Einige Star Trek Jokes

[Oliver-Daniel]

So und ich moechte doch jetzt mal einen eigenen Thread mit einigen STar Trek ENT Jokes aufstellen.

Diese sind english, aber wenn ich dazu komme werde ich sie ins Deutsch uebertragen, vielleicht hat auch ein anderer Lust dies zu uebernehmen...(jetzt hoffe ich wieder, daß es dies nicht irgendwo schon existent ist...)

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T’Pol: Know what you two need? A vacation.

Tucker: Know what you need? To shut up.

Archer: Hang on, Trip, she may have a point. Did you have anywhere particular in mind?

T’Pol: We could go back to that spore planet where Trip tried to kill me.

Tucker: You said that was a robot of you.

T’Pol: Ah yes, I forgot you knew that. How about Risa? It’s a planet where wonderful Trek episodes happen.

Archer: I like the sound of that.

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Forrest: (over the comm) Hi, Jon. Toilet-paper any Vulcan ships lately?

Archer: How did you find out?

Forrest: Relax, it’s a joke. Listen... I have a secret, secret mission for you.

Archer: Are there secrets involved?

Forrest: Very possibly. I need you to go to the planet Mazar and pick up an old Vulcan who looks like Angela Lansbury.

Archer: Pick up Jessica V’Letcher... got it. Anything else?

Forrest: Make your engineer stop wearing that Hawaiian shirt. It’s so ugly I can see it from here.

Archer: From my ready room?

Forrest: From Earth.

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T'Pol: Quit talking to me in Vulcan.

Sato: Why? It's your mother tongue.

T'Pol: Actually, my mother was Romulan. Don't let that get out.

Sato: What about your father?

T'Pol: Also Romulan. And he became an evil future guy. Will you please stop dredging up painful memories?

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Enterprise Starlog: Record. Pause. Record. Pause. Record. Pause.

Computer: Will you cut that out?

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T'Pol: Then we might as well go home.

Archer: Every word you say Archer: They took our Klingon!

makes me hate you more. We have to get Klaang back.

T'Pol: That would be illogical.

Archer: Why?

T'Pol: Doesn't really matter. I consider humans illogical until proven guilty.

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[TheOssi]

So und ich moechte doch jetzt mal einen eigenen Thread mit einigen STar Trek ENT Jokes aufstellen.

Diese sind english, aber wenn ich dazu komme werde ich sie ins Deutsch uebertragen, vielleicht hat auch ein anderer Lust dies zu uebernehmen...(jetzt hoffe ich wieder, daß es dies nicht irgendwo schon existent ist...)

Wenns hier wirklich nur ENT-Jokes gibt, ist der Thread okay.

[Oliver-Daniel]

Wenns hier wirklich nur ENT-Jokes gibt, ist der Thread okay.

Ja gestrenger Meister   , hier moechte ich/wir nur ENT-Jokes posten und eure Meinung darueber hoeren.

[TheOssi]

Wenns hier wirklich nur ENT-Jokes gibt, ist der Thread okay.

War nicht nur meine Entscheidung, Werewolf und ich haben über einen langen Zeitraum von drei Minuten darüber beraten.

[Oliver-Daniel]

Und hier die naechste Runde:

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Archer: Welcome aboard. It’s our custom to immediately play a full game of Monopoly with all visitors --

Captain: Where are you hiding the Vulcan?

Archer: Okay, you win. She’s under the bed.

Captain: Which one?

Archer: Oh, one of them.

Captain: There must be 150 on your ship!

Archer: Yeah, it’s one of those.

T’Pol: (Pssst... Captain, the plan isn’t to make him so mad he kills YOU.)

Archer: I see.

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Farmer Moore: Uh oh -- there's a ridge-headed alien in my cornfield. And it's a safe bet he's not here for Jiffy-Pop poppers.

Klaang: What? I have ridges on my forehead? Oh my God, I'm some kind of mutant freak! Go ahead and shoot!

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Archer: This ship is so beautiful....

Tucker: I'll say. It combines the best features of the Miranda, Akira, and Sovereign classes.

Archer: Hey, stop that. It's the Suliban who have future knowledge, not us.

Tucker: If we don't have future knowledge, how do you know the Suliban have future knowledge?

Archer: Well, okay...we have a little future knowledge.

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Tucker: Hi, I'm Tucker. Call me Trip.

Mayweather: Hi, I'm Mayweather. Call me Ishmael.

Reed: Hi, I'm Reed. Don't call me, I'll call you

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Sato: Sorry, I'm not coming on the mission.

Archer: You p'taK!

Sato: Ooo...say that again and I'll reconsider

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Silik: I am eeeevil. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Evil Future Guy: Not as evil as me. I even sound like a Romulan

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Reed: Uh oh -- we just lost all our power.

Mayweather: Horsepower or political power?

Reed: You're not too bright, are you?

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Enjoy them

[Apogee]

"Not Necessarily!" [PHLOX]

ich weiß is nur kurz aber ich musste lachen! *g*  

[Oliver-Daniel]

@apogee

ich weiß is nur kurz aber ich musste lachen! *g*  

ueber was, wie findest du die Seite?

[Tolayon]

Den habe ich schon in einem anderen Thread gepostet, aber hier passt er auch gut hin:

Archer:

Mein Gott, warum hat mir niemand gesagt dass ich so einen fetten Hintern habe?

Tucker:

Sie wollten ja unbedingt den Transporter nehmen!

[TheOssi]

Den habe ich schon in einem anderen Thread gepostet, aber hier passt er auch gut hin:

Archer:

Mein Gott, warum hat mir niemand gesagt dass ich so einen fetten Hintern habe?

Tucker:

Sie wollten ja unbedingt den Transporter nehmen!

Spaceballs lässt grüßen

@Oliver-Daniel: Die "Broken Bow"-und-Co.-Nummer da oben ist einer der Fiver von Zeke, oder?

[Oliver-Daniel]

@Oliver-Daniel: Die "Broken Bow"-und-Co.-Nummer da oben ist einer der Fiver von Zeke, oder?

Ja, die Jokes sind von Colin Hayman, ich bin mir auch nicht mehr so sicher, ob ich diese weiterhin hier posten moechte. Es gibt ja Dutzende von diesen und alle sind irgendwie cool. Aber was meint ihr? Es werden sich sicherlich noch andere JOkes finden.

[TheOssi]

Ich würd sagen poste, was das Zeug hält. - Ich fand besonders den "Shockwave"-Fiver gut. Da ist Zeke sehr freundlich mit Mayweather umgesprungen

[Oliver-Daniel]

Gut dann mache ich weiter, ich habe noch nicht alle Episoden durch, aber da sind wirklich einige starke Dinger dabei...

[gbsweetie]

LOL.

Die Witze sind gut.

Poste ruhig weiter.

[Oliver-Daniel]

So hier is Round 3:

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Archer: I feel so horribly guilty. I don’t deserve to be out here in space.

T’Pol: Darn right.

Archer: Um, T’Pol? This is where you’re supposed to talk me out of my funk.

T’Pol: I like you better in the funk.

Archer: All right, I’ll find someone else to cheer me up. Here, Porthos!

Porthos: Grrrrrrr....

Archer: Sigh. Some days you just can’t be pleased by anybody

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Tucker: Stop whistling cheerily.

Phlox: Geez, who elected you president of Killjoyia?

Tucker: See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about! We’re all crushed, and you insist on looking on the bright side!

Phlox: There’s a reason for that, Mr. Tucker.

Tucker: Yeah? What?

Phlox: I hate you all

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Archer: Yawwwwwn... ZZZZZ

Computer: Wake up, Captain. You’re -8760 hours late for work.

Archer: That’s odd; I’m usually late by positive numbers. Hey, wait a minute. Why is it suddenly Earth outside?

Computer: Might have something to do with the fact that you’re on Earth.

Archer: Whoa! There’s only one possible explanation: I’ve moped myself back in time, just like my mom always warned me!

Computer: Your mom?

Archer: Yeah, she was full of helpful warnings. “Don’t frown or your face will freeze like that.” “Don’t mope or you’ll send yourself back in time.” “Don’t babble or you’ll put your computer to sleep.”

Computer: ZZZZZ

Archer: Oh, very original

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Archer: Time for a test. Archer to Starfleet Medical: do you have a Dr. Phlox working for you?

Nurse: (over the comm) Why, yes. How did you --

Archer: Fire the bum! I’ll thank me later.

Daniels: Well done, Captain. You’re already changing history for the better.

Archer: Oh, it’s you again. Weren’t you dead?

Daniles: Dead like a fox! Seriously, yes and no. We call it the Braxton Paradox.

Archer: Okay then. What did you bring me here for?

Daniels: You know that planet you blew up? You didn’t blow it up.

Archer: With you so far....

Daniels: Now I’m going to give you future information so you can fight back. This is known as “breaking the Temporal Prime Directive because everybody else is doing it.”

Archer: Gotcha.

Daniels: And I picked one year ago because I figure I’ll have to keep explaining it for about that long till you get it.

Archer: Understood. One question, though....

Daniels: Yes?

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Reed: We get to go in Daniels’ quarters! This is gonna be fun!

Archer: You remember the code for the lock, right?

Reed: Oh, it doesn’t work by a code. See, I took this special strip of transparent adhesive-coated --

Archer: You locked his quarters with Scotch tape?

Reed: If you wanna be all technical about it, yeah

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Mayweather: You guys have been here a while, eh?

Uhura: 34 years and counting. You get used to the beer eventually.

Vir Cotto: It still tastes flat to me.

M’Ress: You’ve barely been here five yearsssss, newbie.

Mayweather: Look, I appreciate the warm welcome, but my being here has to be some mistake. I’m not underused.

Everyone: HA HA HA HA HA!

Mayweather: Really! I may get a little less screentime, but Captain Archer can’t be completely equal with all of us. I have faith in him to give me my fair share.

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bouncer: Oh, stop! Stop it, kid! You’re killin’ me! Man oh man

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Forrest: (over the comm) Well done, Jon! Your heroic theft of top-secret information you couldn’t possibly have known about will surely clear your name without raising any eyebrows at all.

Archer: Thanks, I thought so. And best of all, we won’t have to actually see Soval this week.

Forrest: Yeah, isn’t it odd that he never showed up for these calls?

Janitor: (over the comm) Sir? I locked the doors of the Soval Office this morning just like you asked. Can I have my money now?

Forrest: Er... heh heh.

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Etwaige Doppel-Postings bitte ich gnaedigst zu verzeihen

[TeaZer]

Mhn... die kompletten Pardonien der einzelnen Folgen gibt's doch unter anderem im Kontext auf Treknation im Episodenguide. Wozu also posten?

[C++]

ok auch wieder war ist aber trotzdem wirklich coll, hab mich schrott gelacht

[Oliver-Daniel]

Falls Leute es nicht moegen, auf US-WEbseiten zu surfen, kenne einige davon....

[TeaZer]

Welchen Unterschied macht's?